Respect: The Quiet Power Behind Great Leadership
You Can’t Lead With Heart Without Leading With Respect
By Jane Phipps — Melbourne, Australia
Featured on medium.com
Respect is more than politeness. It’s more than waiting your turn to speak or using someone’s title. In leadership, respect is about recognizing the value each person brings. It shows up in the way you listen, the way you give credit, and the way you create space for others to shine.
Here’s the part we often forget — you can’t genuinely lead others with respect if you don’t respect yourself first.
Heart-centered leadership asks us to respect our own time, energy, values, and voice — just as much as we respect those around us. That means holding boundaries. It means speaking up when something isn’t working. It means not shrinking yourself to make others comfortable.
Respect for Others – A Culture of Listening
Respect isn’t a one-way transaction. It’s a mutual exchange. And when it’s present, teams thrive. Respect isn’t loud. It doesn’t shout over others or stamp its authority in a meeting. It whispers in the way we listen and acknowledge. It’s one of the quietest and most powerful leadership skills.
At its core, respect means valuing each team member’s contributions, ideas, and individuality. It’s about honestly seeing people — not just for what they deliver, but for who they are. That starts with how we show up in everyday moments.
It’s:
• Looking someone in the eye and actually hearing them.
• Asking, “What do you think?” and waiting for the answer.
• Making room for different voices, not just the confident or the loud.
I learned this early in my leadership journey. I had a team member who was incredibly smart but quiet — someone who never fought for airtime in meetings. It would have been easy to overlook him and let the extroverts dominate. Instead, I invited him to share his thinking and reinforced that his perspective was important and mattered.
That quiet encouragement sparked something — and over time, his confidence grew. He began sharing insights that reshaped our entire project.
That experience taught me that when people feel genuinely respected, they rise. They experiment. They engage with purpose. They become more invested in team success. Respect, like trust, creates the conditions for innovation and psychological safety. But it doesn’t require constant alignment or agreement — it requires presence, thoughtful listening, and care.
Earning Rather than Demanding
It’s a common misconception that respect in leadership comes with the title. In heart-centered leadership, respect is never assumed — it’s earned, consistently and quietly, over time.
You earn respect by how you treat people when no one is watching.
By how you respond to mistakes — not just your team’s, but your own.
By whether you prioritise control or collaboration.
Leaders who lead through fear or dominance might demand compliance, but they’ll never inspire loyalty. Control might keep things moving in the short term, but over time it corrodes creativity and trust. Respect, on the other hand, lays the foundation for true engagement.
In my own career, I’ve seen this difference play out time and again. The leaders people trust, follow, and believe in aren’t the ones who posture authority — they’re the ones who model respect through their words, consistency, and decisions.
That doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations. Quite the opposite. It means having those conversations with clarity and compassion. It means being transparent about expectations, following through on your word, and holding both yourself and others accountable — with dignity.
When respect is mutual, it becomes the glue that holds teams together through change, pressure, and uncertainty.
Respecting Yourself as a Leader
While we commonly focus on how leaders show respect to others, it actually begins with how we treat ourselves. Knowing your limits and honouring your boundaries matters.
It means taking your own wellbeing seriously — not as a bonus, but as a requirement for showing up with genuineness. It means saying no when needed, without guilt or apology.
Boundaries are not about being difficult — they’re about integrity. They protect your energy, your time, and your values. They model for others what’s acceptable and what isn’t.
In one of my past roles, I remember saying to a manager during a particularly difficult exchange, “This is game-playing, and I’m not playing anymore. It stops here.”
That simple statement, rooted in self-respect, changed the entire tone of the conversation. It sent a clear signal: I am willing to listen, but I won’t be manipulated.
Leaders who respect themselves don’t just preserve their wellbeing — they set the tone for the whole team. They show that strength doesn’t mean being endlessly available or saying yes to everything. It means knowing who you are, what matters, and what you will and won’t allow.
Self-awareness and self-reflection are also acts of self-respect. Taking time to pause and ask, “How did I show up today?” or “What did I miss?” isn’t self-indulgent — it’s a leadership necessity.
If you don’t respect your own needs, values, and voice — no one else will either.
What Respect Looks Like in Practice
Respect isn’t a lofty ideal — it’s a lived experience. It shows up in the rhythms of daily work, in hallway conversations, emails, meetings, feedback, and decisions.
In practice, respect sounds like:
• “I’d really like to hear your perspective on this.”
• “You don’t have to agree — but thank you for raising that.”
• “Let’s make sure everyone’s had a chance to contribute.”
• “I appreciate your effort.”
It looks like:
• Giving credit where it’s due.
• Making time for one-on-one conversations.
• Protecting team members’ time and focus.
• Listening to understand, not just respond.
Respect doesn’t mean avoiding challenge or discomfort. It means bringing care to the conversation, especially when there’s disagreement. It means assuming good intent, even when giving difficult feedback. It means valuing not just what people produce but who they are as human beings.
Let’s be honest — we notice respect most clearly when it’s absent.
When leaders lack respect — when they dismiss ideas, ignore contributions, interrupt, belittle, or lead through fear — everything changes. Morale drops. Trust evaporates. Productivity suffers. And the workplace becomes toxic.
Innovation dies before it’s spoken. People check out emotionally, even if they keep showing up physically. A team that feels disrespected may still do the job — but they’ll never go the extra mile.
Final Thought – Respect Raises Everyone
Respect is the quiet current that powers healthy teams, strong leaders, and thriving organisations. It doesn’t need fanfare — it needs presence, listening, humility, and consistency.
When leaders respect their people, their people step up.
When leaders respect themselves, they lead with clarity and courage.
When respect is mutual, the workplace becomes more productive — but more human.
Heart-centered leadership starts here. Not with control. Not with power.
But with respect — for others, for yourself, and for the shared purpose that brings you together.
Ask yourself:
• Do I lead in a way that lifts others up?
• Do I listen as much as I speak?
• Do I respect my own boundaries, as well as theirs?
Because when you lead with real respect — people don’t just follow.
They grow. They speak. They stay.